Year 2: Finding Balance

I thought I will be here spewing new knowledge and lessons after year 2 but I find myself still working on the lessons I put out in Year One especially the part about not sweating the little stuff. We've adjusted quite well with each other and have had minimal squabbles. Lol. I guess the seniors will say this is normal. The one thing I am proud of is how I am able to maintain a cool head while talking super slowly when it happens. If Kojo will not give me accolades, I will award myself the accolades.

The one thing I want to emphasize in year 2 is finding balance. Before I got married, I was one of those people who always had something to do during the weekends. It might be a wedding, Rotaract activity, funeral, naming ceremony, meeting up with friends, church meetings, you name it!

However, after moving to Hong Kong last year, my social activities dwindled drastically. The social environment is very different and apart from church and a few friends from the University, our circle of friends is quite small. Whiles this means a welcome relief from social activity, which Kojo absolutely loves because he used to complain that I was too busy. lol. For me, it means that the weekends can sometimes be boring if there is no outdoorsy activity to fill it up.

Kojo is not the outdoorsy kind, anytime I want us to go hiking, I have to start prepping and convincing him like 3 weeks before and sometimes lie that the hike will be less than 2 hours otherwise he is going to bail. Just look at that face after the 2-hour hike turned to 4.

The other day, I spent like 3 hours finding the best beach in Hong Kong for a weekend trip only for him to say that he is working on a powerpoint for a workshop which was 2 weeks away. Ah! The way I was bored eh and as usual, he added: "but you can go oo". The only thing he seems to truly like is cycling.

Of course, he does not mind me going off alone or with friends but the experience is not the same. Over time, I have learnt to not always jump at an activity over the weekend. I have learned to stay in with Kojo and have those lazy Saturdays busy folks yearn for watching movies, playing Yahtzee, Geistes or just surfing the net.

Kojo, on the other hand, knows when I am really restless and I was surprised when he jumped on my idea of just getting on a random bus and enjoying the views and exploring the city during the long Easter weekend. That day took us to Lamma Island and was totally enjoyable.

I did not think I could be that person but i have come to enjoy the peace and quiet without rushing off to the nearest theatrical show but i have done quite a lot though. Lol

For a couple who are both PhD students, it can be very tiring especially when deadlines are approaching and supervisors are on our necks. We both do long hours when necessary coming home after 11pm when necessary without the other harping or Kojo asking what he is going to eat on such days.

While I will love to jump on the cheapest flight to one of the neighbouring South Asian countries, at the least opportunity, Kojo is the cool head, reminding me we have to keep the financial balance. That too is very important. At least one person must be keeping an eye on that. I am all about the experiences you know.

The morning devotions have been quite the struggle but we are going to do better.

Unnecessary addition: I don't know about you but my mum told me that if I want to discuss something serious with my husband, I should wake him up at dawn and talk to him. I have heard this famous advice severally and tried to do that with Kojo the other day. All he said was " Afi, can we wait till the morning". Lol.  I have come to learn that early mornings are better for serious talks. Just because it worked for your mother does not mean it will work for you. The point of what I am saying is exercise discretion in heeding marital advice.

Excited about what year 3 will bring.